Rejection Hurts | How to let people down gently

Rejection hurts, whether it's from a person, a health treatment not working or not achieving a goal. 

In August 2021, I applied for a role surveying disabled access. The company scopes out and is targeted towards disabled people. The website is good to use, the video promoting the role is repetitive in the phrasing, but is very positive, saying how they actively seek out disabled people. I made enquiries and filled out the application form. I waited with excitement to hear back, and waited. 

I am not a patient woman, so after a few weeks, I asked if they had received my application. I was told, with such flat enthusiasm, that they'd have a look in a week or so and be in touch.   

Over a month passed and still no news. Perhaps I should've taken the modern-day hint, no news is bad news. 

I didn't. 

I enquired. 

The woman said they hired those who were 'highly influential', but I can contact her when I am 'more established' on social media?!

I find this abhorrent. 

Nowhere on their website, video or even the application form, does it state 'you must have a minimum of so many thousand followers on social media'. If success depends on your online popularity only, not your passion, skill or knowledge, it's so sad and depressing. No wonder we face a mental health crisis if people are desperately watching their number of followers bob up or down, thinking, 'stay up, stay up, my success is down to you!'.  

We are in an era of mental illness imploding, services stretched to breaking point, suicides rising... Surely companies, especially those dealing with vulnerable adults, ought to handle rejections with more care and sensitivity?  

There is a way to let people down gently as I learnt on a counselling course. A way to offer positive criticism is by: 

  • Offering 3 positive assets of the person 
  • Offering 1 area of improvement 
  • Offering 3 more positives to end it with  

I will keep trying to make a difference, keep knocking down barriers, as I try to change access and attitudes. 

Follow me on Twitter to keep up to date: @LadyFaye31 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It Could be You

Image
 The first Thursday in October is National poetry day.  I was inspired to write this after hearing a man with cerabal palsy had to prove his health condition.   It could be you.  It could be you who the terrible accident hits.   it could be you who lies in hospital for weeks, month's on end, losing friends, losing hope.  Gaining a wheelchair and other equipment you had to prove you have the strength and capacity to use.   It could be you whose life is altered  by a diagnosis, having hurtful names hurled at you, being  pitied, refused entry on public transport, buildings.   It could  be  you fighting  for equipment, fighting for support for medication ...  And  being told you're not worth it, you cost too much, your parents shouldn't have 'bred' you.   It could be you applying for jobs, only  for potential employers to dismiss you because all they see is the word 'disabled' and what you can't do, rather ...
Read more
Hello the access champion is here. I have been an access champion in the past and I’m hoping to re-establish the role and using my experiences of being a Visually impaired, wheelchair user who has aphasia. As the world opens up again, I thought I’d blog about how I have found it, as a disabled person. I look forward to assessing the physical access, the online experience and most importantly, the friendliness and general atmosphere. I'll praise when necessary and suggest improvements in the hope that something will change and it'll help other disabled people.
Read more

Disability Costs

Image
Mobility car with ramp out on a pavement.  Disability Costs In the UK, perhaps even around the world, we are in a cost of living crisis. Disabled, vulnerable and chronically ill people are undoubtably feeling the squeeze too, maybe most of all. Lately, I have noticed some awful, judgemental comments on social media, deeming those unable to work as 'unworthy', 'scroungers' and a mainstream television show has even questioned whether the most vulnerable in society should have their benefits stopped all together. These wealthy folks who talk about kindness, would see us suffer. Let’s dispel some myths: Myth 1: Being disabled, you get everything free. This is laughable it's so wrong, I’ll explain what I mean in a minute. Myth 2: Being unable to work, you have oodles of free time. Hahaha. Have you met my neurologists, ophthalmologist, audiologist, gynaecologist, gastroenterologist, dietitian, physiotherapist and SALT team? Many of which I have to fight to get an appointm...
Read more